Updated: Sep 28, 2019
Friends. According to the dictionary, the word is described as “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations”. Most would say that sums it up well; but let’s put it in simpler terms. What is a friend? A friend is someone who fits you like a puzzle piece. They’re someone that you can turn to when in need of help; they’re an individual that you can share personal stories with and won’t judge. They’re an individual that is like you, not perfect at all, someone that has flaws like you, and may even share the same flaws. They’re inspiring in their own way, someone you can laugh with, and create beautiful memories with. A friend is someone you can dance and sing with, and someone who will be there for you when you need a reminder of how awesome you are, and there to hug you when you need some extra love. They’re someone who you can experience life with to its fullest through the difficulties. Sometimes they can also be ones who upset you and challenge your thought process. When it comes to friendships, that is where I learned the beauty of forgiveness and understanding.
According to an article I recently came across entitled “Forgiveness Can Improve Mental and Physical Health. Research Shows How to Get There”, written by Kirsten Weir, she makes a few points that really explains the art of forgiveness and what it means to forgive. Weir makes a point in the article where she states that “forgiveness is a topic that’s psychological, social and biological. It is the true mind-body connection. Many people think of forgiveness as letting go or moving on. But there’s more to it than that, says Bob Enright, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, who pioneered the study of forgiveness three decades ago. True forgiveness goes a step further, he says, offering something positive, empathy, compassion, understanding—toward the person who hurt you.” Although this true, the point that she made at the end of her article is what stuck out to me the most. She mentioned, that it is very important to revisit the past to forgive and move forward. Sometimes it’s worthwhile to go back to historical events and process the, on a deeper level, with couples and individuals. If you are too focused on the present, you can forget about the pasts influence in the present.”
In conversation with my friend, she reminded me that life never goes as planned. You think you have control over things such as career, goals, and relationships, but life always will have a different plan. Life is unexpected, it will challenge you in an abundant amount of ways, you will have up and downs, successes, and failures, but if you truly step back and analyze, and refocus, you will always can excel. That is the collateral beauty of life. Beauty is pain, all the advice you need and the answers that you long to be answered can always be found within yourself.